Chapter 198: Moments of Weakness

Book 4, Chapter 39 - Moments of Weakness

The Scarlet Reaver continued to rock up and down as it crossed through what Eksa assumed a dimming storm. She felt in her blood the fading anger of the seas, felt its coming calm and the peace and plenty it brought to those that would venture upon it. Eksa felt at home .

She lay on her back, topless, eyes closed and wet hair sprawled out over a feather-stuffed pillow. Damp clothes lay strewn about the floor next to. All she'd changed into was a clean pair of breeches for the night. Sleep took her, as did sweet dreams of the ocean breeze in her face as she stood at the Reaver 's bow with arms outstretched, Aaron's hands upon her waist to keep her steady. Rule of the Basin was theirs. Everything was theirs.

Eksa was happy.

Her eyes opened. The ship no longer swayed violently, instead rolling along as it might on a normal night. It was dark out still, but the storm had gone. A cracked groan escaped her as she pushed herself upright. She scratched at her throat as if that might dull the dryness inside. She sighed, pulling out her trunk from beneath her bed. Eksa dawned a lone shirt of loose fit, laces at the collars and frills at the cuffs. She then rummaged through her neatly folded garments and pulled out the last of her treasures —a vintage bottle of Red Vine red, tucked away from years prior, when her friends had been here, and had helped her through her addiction.

None of that mattered now. This was the last of her bottles. She might have relapsed into old habits, but the addiction would be snatched from her soon enough. Eksa popped the cork and brought the bottle to her lips. She swished the first mouthful of the heavenly nectar around in her mouth, letting it stain her teeth and sit on her tongue for a few short breaths as she appreciated its full taste. Then she let multiple mouthfuls pour down her throat as a weary desert traveler might siphon from a waterskin.

Before Eksa knew it, half the wine had gone. She sat there with her head hung low, holding the bottle by its neck, hair still wet and hanging at the sides of her head like a mop. The drink sat in her belly for some time until she felt its warmth run through her blood and ease away the aches in her temples. The world became bearable again. Pleasant even. And Eksa eyed her bottle with renewed envy. She downed another mouthful.

Someone knocked on her cabin door.

Eksa clicked her tongue. She tossed her wet garments into her trunk and hastily shut the top, not caring for propriety in the slightest, or even bothering to the lock the latches in place. She kicked the trunk under her bed and stumbled to the door, opening it to find Azul waiting there for her. Azul in his vest, damp long hair and muscles shining dully with the scant lamplight present behind Eksa. She felt a burning in her face. “What is it?” she demanded with a scowl.

The other captain briefly glanced at the bottle in her hand. Eksa —reluctantly— handed it over.

He peered at the font on the label before raising his brow. “You've been keeping this to yourself, Captain?”

“It's the last of what we've got on board,” she said. She stumbled back to her bed and sat at its edge. “You're welcome to share the rest of it. It's done me well enough.”

Azul shrugged. He took a swig from the bottle. “Not enough to share with everyone anyway,” he said, voice rough and deep.

Eksa scratched the side of her head, trying to mask the irritated frown she wore as well as the marks of color she was certain shown in her pale face. “So what is it? Why've you stepped away from the helm?”

“Gave it to Severum some hours before. The—”

“That oaf?”

“—storm's down. I'm sure he'll be fine. I told him to steer us southward 'fore long. I have to say, to think you had the Flaming serpent creature as your final play… Why not use it earlier?”

“ It is not a tool, Azul. It is a sentient creature with its own will. It is not something I can use so easily.”

Azul frowned. He took another drink, bicep curling in all too alluring manner as he raised the bottle to his lips. “Then…?”

“Then we convince it. It sort of owes me a debt. And our need is dire. We use it to ruin Crow and take back Kovar and bury this Ash stained business for good.”

Azul nodded. He entered the cabin proper than stand in the doorway and sat down heavily next to Eksa. The mattress sunk deeper from the weight that rigid body of his provided. “End it all for good,” he repeated, handing the bottle back. “A lot of people will have to die.”

Eksa snorted. “You're no stranger to killing. Don't go getting cold feet on me now.”

“I'm not. But it feels different, meditating the deaths of hundreds than killing in an isolated incident purely for survival. The world would be an easier place if everyone surrendered at the show of knives than think to lash back at their edges foolishly.”

Eksa narrowed her eyes. “I'm certain that cleric back at Assak bore us no ill will, but you seemed ready to gut him all the same.”

Azul turned to her, holding her gaze. “He would've screamed. Would've alerted others. That is not the same as surrendering. I don't think to gag people that might hinder me like you, Captain. I simply move forward in the way that has kept me alive until now.”

Act first, think later, hmm? Can't say living like that has ever done me good.

“Such beautiful eyes,” Azul commented.

Eksa froze. Her mouth was suddenly void of moisture. Azul tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, and Eksa made no move to stop him. He then cupped her face in his hand and pressed his lips upon hers. All thought melted away before his warmth. Eksa's reason sank beneath the ship. She clutched Azul's vest collar and returned his kiss with a passionate one of her own. She then pulled away for a second to catch her breath, a thousand thoughts running through her head. This isn't wrong. It'll help me buy his loyalty for longer and…

Was it really so wrong to dip into desire after so long? She'd been abandoned. What was so wrong about indulging in her needs, in sharing a man's embrace? Eksa put the bottle to her mouth and downed what remained, tossing it aside when she was done. She turned to Azul, finding that he stared at her still with that shadowed gaze in the dimness that was her cabin. His chest rose and fell quickly, muscles flexing and contracting. He wasn't easy on the eyes unlike Jackrin, but the angles to his jaw, and the makings of a beard, and the scars crossing over those muscle lines gave him a dangerous edge that began to seem more and more alluring with each passing second.

Alcohol smothered all thought of Estraean propriety and amplified every carnal emotion she'd come to possess during her time as the Reaver 's captain. Eksa pushed herself into Azul's embrace again, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him. She shuffled into his lap and he put a firm hand on her back, and the other gripped her rear. Lips and tongue locked in what felt a blissful eternity. But Eksa needed more than that.

The room spun around her. Heat burned in her chest. She could no longer make out the face of the man in whose arms she sat. But she needed him then, and she offered herself freely, laying on her back with arms sprawled out. She found her wrists pinned no sooner, and the rough edge of the man's chin pressed up against her face. Kisses pressed upon her neck. Eksa began panting. She gripped this man's hair and ground his locks between her fingers, tugging on them all the while. Eksa, for a moment, only knew how to breathe through her mouth, gasps escaping with every exhale. The man brought his mouth to hers again, silencing her and stealing away her air. He freed her arms and slid his hands up her shirt, caressing her breasts with his callused palms.

Eksa growled, irritated. She bit his lip and pushed him away. She pulled off her own shirt, and the man threw off his vest. They locked lips again, rolling over until Eksa found herself on top, in control, desire pounding at her chest. She could hold it back no longer. She tugged on the laces of her trousers, moaning as the man slipped his fingers through the slightest of gaps she'd made. He grabbed her by the neck and pulled her down to kiss her again, keeping her desires tempered with his fingers between her legs. “Oh Aaron ,” Eksa breathed.

The man bit her ear. “Forget him,” he said, his voice harsh, rough, and unlike the Aarondel she remembered.

“What?” Eksa muttered, eyes slowly coming back into focus. She found herself on her back again. The man pulled down her trousers and left her bare. She sat exposed before him, legs spread wide, and her heart began to pound with boundless fear intertwined with a deep well of lust. Her entire body went numb with want and repulsion. The one before her was not the man she loved. It was not at all the one of whom she dreamt night after night, and longed ever for.

It was another man altogether for whom Eksa held no feelings. Crippling shame stole her breath and burned her face. Shame not just for her exposed state, but for her own failings, for her own lack of control. She felt utter hatred for her current situation, and yet, she did not want it to stop. She allowed fear to claim her, allowed it to keep her frozen, so that the act could be completed.

Azul began unfastening the belt he had on around his own trousers, and all Eksa could do was wait.

“Captain, land! We've spotted la— er…”

Motion returned to Eksa. She screamed and backed herself into the corner of her bed, tucking her legs in and wrapping her arms around them to cover herself. Severum stood in the doorway to the cabin, gaze kept glued to the floor. “Out!” Eksa cried. She pointed toward the door as if her words were not clear enough. “OUT! All of you!”

Severum fled, while Azul waited for some seconds too long. A vicious glare finally turned him away, and Eksa heard him curse as he stalked off. Then she was alone. Alone in her dim, quiet room, the hull's creaks her only company. The Reaver swayed gently with the waves like a mother rocking a babe's cradle. There was lead at the base of Eksa's throat for which she could not breathe. She bit down on her knee and screamed, muffling her own voice so it would not reach those on deck. She did not know how long she kept at it —just that her throat was parched and ragged by its end, and her eyes in stinging pain from all the tears they'd bled.

Eksa then hastily wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt and threw the same shirt over her head. She pulled on her trousers, tugging them above waist level and fastened their laces tighter than she ever had. She tucked her feet into a pair of heeled boots and stomped above deck with one fist closed around the scabbard of her cutlass.

“Land he said,” Eksa muttered to herself. “There shouldn't be any land near us for some time.”

Yet there they were, a formation of small cliffs on the horizon. The light of dawn had just begun to crack. They bore down on the land ahead. That land could not be Eurale, for the sun rose from directly opposite them. A cold wind pushed against The Scarlet Reaver. A harsh enough wind to cause every man aboard to shiver, let alone Eksa in her loose clothes and sweat damped skin. She felt its ice go through her chest and out the back. It was a strong wind that should have slowed the Reaver , its sails unfurled as they were. Yet those sails were puffed outward against the coming gale, moving the ship swiftly towards those islands ahead.

There was a strangeness to this that Eksa did not like. She rushed to the helm where Severum stood. He struggled to move the wheel with those spindly arms. “Lift all sails,” Eksa ordered. She shoved Severum aside and spun the helm, trying to turn the ship away from its current course.

But the wheel would not budge.

“Flames!” Eksa cursed, exerting as much effort as possible. “Flames and Ashes! Why won't the damn thing move?”

“Don't know, Captain,” Severum muttered in meek reply.

“What in Shuari's Ash forsaken sands have you jammed into it?”

“Nothing, Captain. Swears.”

Eksa growled and pushed harder, but the helm was firmly stuck. The sails were furled up as she'd asked, but the ship continued apace. Eksa fell to her knees. She swallowed another growing lump of lead in her throat. She was too exhausted to care any further. Too damaged to bother giving orders. What orders could she give?

A moment of weakness and this was the result. The Scarlet Reaver waded on towards the islands ahead. It was a land of as much mystery as misery. A land of which only foul tales were told. A place nicknamed the Sailor's Cemetery.

And there was not a thing Eksa could do to turn the ship around. Whatever fell magics claimed the islands before her had already spun its threads around her dear ship. And so the Reaver' s captain watched hopelessly, along with every other member aboard, as their ship carried them to the dreaded Arachan Isles .