Chapter 36: #36 The Book

Ric was on the way back to his dorm, organizing his thoughts along the way.

"I underestimated the Academy. I didn’t think the talk about equality was serious at all. But I was wrong. They’re really taking this equality thing seriously. It was surprising to see some servants ranked higher than their noble masters."

He reached his dorm, walked inside, and placed the book Reinhardt had given him on the desk.

“Good thing I gave Isabelle the book before checking the dorms, she was so in thought after the fight that she didn’t even notice that I took it back.”

Then he began searching through his drawer, pulling out an empty notebook. Holding a pencil in his hand, he started writing.

"There’s an armory, a blacksmith shop, tailor’s shop, potion shop, and two canteens: one for those who don’t have points and can’t afford food, and the other for those who can. They really made it easy for fights to break out by placing them next to each other. I guess the infirmary is on another floor. And last but not least, the library—the place where I’ll be spending most of my time starting tomorrow."

He stopped writing and looked around his room—the polished floors, magically engineered floating light orbs, and high-quality furniture—all of it for just one student.

"Truly magnificent. Comparing this room to an A-rank dorm is like comparing a noble’s grand house to a merchant’s quarters. Both A and S-rank dorms are more like private rooms since they’re meant for one student each. The rest are actual dorms shared by multiple students."

Ric picked up the book Reinhardt had given him and sat on his bed. He carefully studied the texture of its cover.

"This looks like it was drenched in blood."

The title read Blood Lust . He opened it and flipped through the pages, noticing there was no index. But that didn’t bother him. He started reading.

"To the one reading this—this book is about the thing that takes control of you when you least expect it. It attacks when you're defenseless. It takes over when you're unaware. It hardens your heart toward brutal scenes and slowly makes you enjoy what you hate the most.

That is blood lust: the materialization of your desire to kill. It exists in everyone who has ever killed a living creature—be it an insect, animal, demon, or human."

Ric paused, thinking. "Does this mean everyone has Blood lust?"

Still confused, he kept reading.

"Everyone has blood lust—from common civilians to high-ranking knights. So what keeps commoners from going berserk, while warriors don’t always manage to stay sane?

The answer is positivity. Unlike warriors on the battlefield, normal people experience positive emotions daily, which cancels out the little blood lust they have. Warriors, on the other hand, kill to survive—even if they don’t know the enemy. The psychological pressure and negative energy absorbed after a kill can scar them for life or drive them insane.

Blood lust is a double-edged sword. If controlled, it becomes a great weapon. But if it gains control, you become its weapon. Remember: blood lust is acquired through killing and enhanced by negative energy which is exhibited by Emotions like anger, rage, hatred, and resentment, giving birth to the desire to kill."

Ric fell silent.

"So this proves I did kill someone in the past. But how? I’ve lived in the orphanage for five years. That would mean I killed someone when I was under ten years old."

His expression darkened.

"Then the nightmares where I stand in a field of corpses… they might be real memories. That also means there were people who knew me before—the ones in those dreams. Maybe… my parents."

He closed his eyes, trying to recall the faces from his dreams.

"If I can just remember them for even a moment… Just once."

He tried his best to remember the moments in his dreams when he saw them,

“From what I remember, It was a foggy atmosphere, in a forest, a yellow haired man, his skin was fair, his voice was soothing and gentle, his face was…”

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through his skull, which made him lose focus and he opened his eyes. It was like needles piercing his brain.

"Ugh! Dang it!"

The pain worsened. Ric groaned, veins bulging as he reached for a bottle of water—only to realize it was empty. He threw the book onto the desk and stumbled into the bathroom. Lifting a bucket of water, he poured it over his head.

The pain stopped instantly.

He gasped.

"Huff!"

Finally relieved of the torment, he sat for a moment, He looked down at the water dripping from his hair, eyes sharp and burning.

“No matter what… I’ll find out who I was”

A sharp look of resolve formed on his face. A face that made one thing clear—he would uncover the truth, no matter what it took.